Geld,  Uncategorized

Marriage and Money – What your husband is afraid of, when you don`t take care of your money

About two months before he died, my former husband and I were sitting in the office, when all of a sudden he turned around and said: “You should know, that I am not afraid of dying. More so I am afraid, that you will be overwhelmed with the financial issues and keeping our house.”

Most likely I said something like: “Oh, no, somehow I will sort it out somehow.”

But we never talked about it. Two months later he died and I was totally overwhelmed with the financial issues and keeping our house.

Private insolvency was the result.

If we had talked about it, this might have been prevented. And the fear would have taken away from him.

Do you know how your husband feels?

Maybe he is one of those men who don`t talk a lot. But maybe at the same time he is one of those who are concerned about you and your future.

In this article I let Harold Frazier (short: Hal) talk.

I met Hal in November 2017 at the Tony-Robbins-Event in Palm Beach, Florida. He is a surgeon and professor at George Washington University. His wife is a radiologist and a professor at the University of Maryland.  She also works as a medical illustrator.

When I told Hal during dinner at the event, what I do on MyMoneymind, he looked up surprised and said:

Oh, that is important! I worry a lot, because I experience the same with my wife.

What exactly makes him worrying? He shares his thoughts with you in this article.

Hal, who is responsible for the money in your marriage?

Money wise we both bring income into the family.  

I manage our cash flow, the budget, our insurance, and investments ….. and our overall financial plan.  My wife does attend our meetings with our financial planner but defers the rest of the management to me.  

What do you feel, when you have to take care of all financial things?

I feel frustration.   

We are very good about moving money from our income automatically into retirement accounts.  

However the use of the remaining cash flow is frequently overwhelmed due to the excess use of credit cards – which allows us to spend money that we do not have available that month.

And this ultimately results in burning future income due to interest charges. 

My wife does not to see how severely the use of credit cards impacts our cash flow.  She has limited understanding of the budget expenses.  

What would you like her to understand about money / finance?

How important it has been for us to automatically save money for our emergency fund and retirement.

How important it is for us to use a budget.

Understand where and how our retirement money is invested

Understand the importance of the insurance coverage in our financial plan.

What do you worry about the most?

I am worried  and I am afraid.

Because my wife has very little understanding of our family cash flow (budget) and the moment I am sick or dead – she will be lost.

I am worried that this lack of understanding will result in the loss of her lifestyle ….or bankruptcy …or worse loss of the house. 

I am worried she will have no idea how to get herself out from under the debt burden.  

Thank you, Hal!

Do you know, what you husband feels? Leave a comment below.

Ich war in der Privatinsolvenz, selbstständig und hatte ständig Angst, dass mein Einkommen nicht ausreicht - auch wenn ich eigentlich immer genug verdient habe. So sah mein Leben vorher aus. Heute weiß ich, dass der Umgang mit Geld sich gut anfühlt, wenn du dein Geldbewusstsein änderst: Genieß dein Leben und spür die Fülle!

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